What type of parent do you want to be?
I'll admit, I went into pregnancy and birth as ignorant as they come. I didn't do any research, I didn't ask questions, I didn't want to know. I wanted to go with the flow. This approach did work for me at the time because I was fearful of knowing too much, yet now in hindsight, I can see it would have been much better for me to do some research and critical thinking for myself.
And so, I thought I knew what type of mother I wanted to be; loving, caring, playful, lots of cuddles and kisses, and whilst that is GREAT, it is still only surface level, this is kind of non-negotiable stuff that should typically come with parenting. I didn't really "get it", as in doing the proper work to think of what type of mother I wanted to be, until now.. well, the beginning of 2020 to be exact, when I needed to world to slow down and it did (cue lockdown!).
This time at home made me think of the type of parent I wanted to be and how I could help my children navigate the challenges of life.
It's our duty as a parent to give them the tools before we send them out into the world, as we cannot always be there to protect them.
The type of parent I want to be is one that creates opportunity, delivering hands on experiences and making beautiful memories that won't fade.
I am the mother that will show my children it's ok to make mistakes but you have to try and learn from them.
I am the mother that will do something that makes me feel uncomfortable so my children can see and know it's safe to do so to achieve goals and dreams.
I am the mother uses positive affirmations every single day in my household to remind everyone the way we speak to ourself counts, positive self-talk is critical.
I am the mother that takes good care of myself because showing my children my self-love means they will be empowered to love themselves too. And true happiness comes from within.
Now I know, I want to show them (my children) the real important stuff, stuff that is necessary for growth and a successful life. My "parenting tool box" is now pretty big, and these are some of the tools I use and plan on using in the near future (but not limited to):
- Buying investments; property, businesses, cryptocurrencies, NFT's, gold, silver, stocks / shares, and being next to me at the "table" making that deal.
- Starting a business and revenue streams, again, right next to me at the table watching what I do and explaining as I go.
The best lessons are the hands on ones, experience far outweighs something from a textbook. Showing them there is no limit to what we can do but the limitations we put on ourselves.
- How to cultivate a positive mindset to navigate the challenges of life with ease. Having a positive mindset and positive outlook on life doesn't mean you become invincible or your problems go away, it means you get better at dealing with it. The more growth you have the bigger the problems get too, in every area of life.
- The difference between an asset and a liability as we grow as a family unit each year so they can make smarter choices. This also reduces the sense of entitlement without having to work or put in the effort for something.
- Travel is the best education, I want to take them travelling around the world to see how other people live.
- Forever students, learning doesn't stop once you finish school. I want to learn different languages and read tonnes of books with them so we can keep our brains healthy, absorb information and retain it easily, and have this extraordinary vocabulary and knowledge.
- Let them be bored so they can cultivate the power of their imagination. Executing an idea is what creates success. If we don't give them the time to be bored so the creativity and imagination can kick in, well, that just means we're settling for mediocre, not greatness.
- "You didn't come this far to come this far!", teaching them the difference between never giving up, and knowing when something is not worth your time and energy.
- Showing them how to take small steps to create big things! Stepping out of your comfort zone is when real growth happens.
- You simply just need to 'do the work'. No one is coming to save you or do it for you. TAKE ACTION!
- Decision making
- Taking risks! Calculated risks.
- How to cultivate gratitude. Appreciating everything you currently have and showing gratitude for what will come.
- Taking responsibility and admitting when at fault. Accountability for ones own actions and consequences.
- How to create a positive habit because a bad one is hard to break as an adult.
The behaviour I model, the actions I take, the people we surround ourselves with, what we watch on tv/movies, different environments and the experiences we have, will shape how they see the world.
I want a life of greatness for us all. So without pushing my beliefs on to them, all I can do is give my children the tools by showing and letting them have these experiences. The good, the bad and the ugly. Triumph and failure. Winning and losing. You need the hard times to appreciate the good times.
If I can ingrain these important life lessons from a young age, I can spark curiosity, determination, imagination, persistence, creativity, gratitude, empathy, compassion, resilience and happiness.
Have you thought about the type of parent you want to be?